Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
