Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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