I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
