I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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