We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
