allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I cockslap morals
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
