actually, I'm a sock model
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
