can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
