You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
