Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
