When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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