I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize