i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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