if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
