How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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