Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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