had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
