So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
