Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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