I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
