Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
