but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
