oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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