I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
