margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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