I skipped work to stalk him.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
