Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
