what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
