sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I am midnight drunk by noon
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
