nut hugger
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I did not marry a roomba.
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