even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i've created a new STD.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
