We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
