brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize