ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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