hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
