I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
