I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Sorry about my life...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
