I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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