i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
