I bet he comes in French.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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