We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
