He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
