you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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