she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
