Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
