There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize