His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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