she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you would pick up someone in the library
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
