I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
