Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
