How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
