walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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