susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
