The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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