We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
