is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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