No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
