Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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