Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
