I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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