So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
