I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
