Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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