david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
